Again I cannot sleep because of my lovely friend called "anxiety". I ask myself what it is about this time? The blackness answers: "why not see the light instead of puzzling your weary brain." Then I finished three movies Tom gave me.
I couldn't sleep no matter it's night or day. This fear toward darkness is overwhelming. Though I like darkness, the darkness at day is made up by myself, not created by nature, which is totally out of my control. I am sunk into it, the endless "hopeless emptiness". "Revolutionary Road" is "a childlike dream never fulfilled", but I enjoy this line, and this line only.
The world is judged by logic and rations. All creatures living in it is bound by it. That's why I'm always looking down the precipitous cliff, a place where you can fall with gravity in the last minute, but can recover from ascending against it in the next minute, though I am not sure where I should be going up to. I am not a religious person.
Day or Night doesn't make a difference to me as I can call myself "suffering from the witness of time passing by in front of my eyes relentlessly."
I am drown.
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